So we are 16 followers away from reaching the goal of Nested’s “I’ll Bribe You With a Story About My Dead Pet Hamster, Fat Olivia, if 100 People Follow Nested.” I’ve sweetened the deal for y’all. Not only will I tell you the amazing adventures of Fat Olivia, but I will also tell them in the mode requested by the 100th follower.
Now don’t you all go dropping me and re-following for this position. That’s cheating. Which, like polygamy, is frowned upon in most societies.
But yes, if you are my 100th follower, send me an email notifying me of your choice of medium. I can draw as well, if you’d prefer. You want me to re-write the lyrics to The Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera to be about the life and adventures of Fat Olivia? Done. A series of haiku? Left field, but I’ll do it. Or I could just tell you the story of Fat Olivia with my normal words and post a video of myself re-rapping the epic rap battle of the Rhymnocerous v. the Hip-Hop-opotomus. Because I clearly have lost all the shame and sense I was born with.
If you don’t know how to follow, go to this link and I’ll show you the way, young padawan. And let’s not just stop at 100. If you really want to give me a happy Christmas, you’ll share the love until I have thousands of followers! (I’m starting a collection to put next to my nesting dolls and Little Debbie memorabilia)
In other news, North Korea announced that, oops, we silly Americans translated their press release incorrectly. It wasn’t a unicorn that they found.
It was a mystical creature with the head of a dragon, the body of a deer, and the ass of a cow. (Let’s play a game of Which of These Things is Not Like The Others?) Because that makes it more believable. Silly us, suspending our disbelief and all that. There I was, getting all excited about being able to bust out all my old My Little Ponies again and introduce them to a real life unicorn while I stuck my tongue out at my 3rd grade teacher and said, “I told you they were real, Ms. Wyshard.” But alas and alack, there ain’t no such thing as unicorns. Dragon-cows on the other hand, well, that’s a completely different story. Do I sense the next big Mattel toy phenom?
And now, North Korea is celebrating this drag-deer-cow by launching a rocket.
….which I am now reading worked about as well as the last time they did it.
So they’re extending the window of time for the launch because they
apparently don’t have the first clue about how to fire a missile were having technical difficulties apparently just didn’t feel like firing it today. Too much Jazzercise and wine last night, I guess.
Well that’s always my excuse at least. It is also why this post seems to be rambling and without direction.
Actually, maybe that was too many tacos and the Packers game. Tomato, tomahto.
It’s a really dreary Monday here – cold and rainy. Blech. And in the midst of all of my other insanity, I have decided to start a small business. Because I clearly don’t hate myself quite enough yet. Sleep? Sleep is for babies.
Since this is such a crappy post (I like to match my blog to the weather), I’m leaving you with this.
Why? Because it’s amazing. Sing me out, Steve Perry…..
Ok, not quite. You have homework:
- If you don’t currently follow Nested, FOLLOW NESTED.
- If you are currently a follower of Nested, share it with a friend. I think we have fun here, right?
- If you have done the above to items, head over to my Blogs I Love tab (up at the top) and take a gander at at least 3 other blogs. Give us the Christmas or Hanukkah gift of followers!
It may not seem like it matters, but when you’re trying to get bigger groups to read your blog and hire you, the number of followers you have matters. So help some lovely bloggers this year and in return, we will post about how to make snow out of soap and how to bake cookies using only breakfast cereals. And then you, in turn, can pin that shit all over your Pinterest boards.
I’ll be back tomorrow with something better. Promise. But I’m small business-ing today. And trying not to get “Ew it’s raining and I have curly hair which makes me worry I smell like ‘wet dog'” hair.
Happy Monday, y’all!