My last, desperate plea/bribe….

So we are 16 followers away from reaching the goal of Nested’s “I’ll Bribe You With a Story About My Dead Pet Hamster, Fat Olivia, if 100 People Follow Nested.” I’ve sweetened the deal for y’all. Not only will I tell you the amazing adventures of Fat Olivia, but I will also tell them in the mode requested by the 100th follower.

Now don’t you all go dropping me and re-following for this position. That’s cheating. Which, like polygamy, is frowned upon in most societies.

But yes, if you are my 100th follower, send me an email notifying me of your choice of medium. I can draw as well, if you’d prefer. You want me to re-write the lyrics to The Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera to be about the life and adventures of Fat Olivia? Done. A series of haiku? Left field, but I’ll do it. Or I could just tell you the story of Fat Olivia with my normal words and post a video of myself re-rapping the epic rap battle of the Rhymnocerous v. the Hip-Hop-opotomus. Because I clearly have lost all the shame and sense I was born with.

If you don’t know how to follow, go to this link and I’ll show you the way, young padawan. And let’s not just stop at 100. If you really want to give me a happy Christmas, you’ll share the love until I have thousands of followers! (I’m starting a collection to put next to my nesting dolls and Little Debbie memorabilia) 

In other news, North Korea announced that, oops, we silly Americans translated their press release incorrectly. It wasn’t a unicorn that they found.

It was a mystical creature with the head of a dragon, the body of a deer, and the ass of a cow. (Let’s play a game of Which of These Things is Not Like The Others?) Because that makes it more believable. Silly us, suspending our disbelief and all that. There I was, getting all excited about being able to bust out all my old My Little Ponies again and introduce them to a real life unicorn while I stuck my tongue out at my 3rd grade teacher and said, “I told you they were real, Ms. Wyshard.” But alas and alack, there ain’t no such thing as unicorns. Dragon-cows on the other hand, well, that’s a completely different story. Do I sense the next big Mattel toy phenom?

And now, North Korea is celebrating this drag-deer-cow by launching a rocket.

….which I am now reading worked about as well as the last time they did it.

So they’re extending the window of time for the launch because they    apparently don’t have the first clue about how to fire a missile     were having technical difficulties    apparently just didn’t feel like firing it today. Too much Jazzercise and wine last night, I guess.

Well that’s always my excuse at least. It is also why this post seems to be rambling and without direction.

Actually, maybe that was too many tacos and the Packers game. Tomato, tomahto.

It’s a really dreary Monday here – cold and rainy. Blech. And in the midst of all of my other insanity, I have decided to start a small business. Because I clearly don’t hate myself quite enough yet. Sleep? Sleep is for babies.

Since this is such a crappy post (I like to match my blog to the weather), I’m leaving you with this.

Why? Because it’s amazing. Sing me out, Steve Perry…..

Ok, not quite. You have homework:

  1.  If you don’t currently follow Nested, FOLLOW NESTED. 
  2.  If you are currently a follower of Nested, share it with a friend. I think we have fun here, right? 
  3.  If you have done the above to items, head over to my Blogs I Love tab (up at the top) and take a gander at at least 3 other blogs. Give us the Christmas or Hanukkah gift of followers! 

It may not seem like it matters, but when you’re trying to get bigger groups to read your blog and hire you, the number of followers you have matters. So help some lovely bloggers this year and in return, we will post about how to make snow out of soap and how to bake cookies using only breakfast cereals. And then you, in turn, can pin that shit all over your Pinterest boards. 

I’ll be back tomorrow with something better. Promise. But I’m small business-ing today. And trying not to get “Ew it’s raining and I have curly hair which makes me worry I smell like ‘wet dog'” hair.

Happy Monday, y’all!

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  1. Haha… can I tell you a secret? I had this crazy dream of reaching 100 followers by the time I began my Freshman year of University.. I mean, if you want to tell people, “Oh yeah, I write a blog..” they might not understand that having over 50 followers is a HUGE deal.. like you said… they start maybe paying attention after you break that “100” glass barrier..But if I even want to make it to uni in less than a month, I better finish up the finals I have for now..*sigh* Maybe I’ll start my own pleaing after that’s over.. 😀

    Anyways, I’m rooting for you and confident you’ll make it really soon!
    Good Luck NESTED!

    • The whole followers thing is a way bigger deal than people realize. I tried to explain to some of my college classmates at our Homecoming this past fall. At least 30 people who aren’t followers told me that they loved my blog. You should follow it, I said. But I read it every day, isn’t that the same thing? No, dear friends, it is not. Le sigh.

      But it seems that you and I are both stretched thin in trying to balance blogging with school. I’m applying to doctoral programs right now and it’s hard to find time for it all! But thanks for the pep and cheering-on! I hope we do make it! And the same goes for you!

  2. After reading your Pinterest post, I started a board on Pinterest just for you with random grumpy cat pictures and funny sayings. After saying this, I realize that sounds kind of creepy. Ha! But anyway, I did and it’s out there and brings me to the real point of this. I pinned that cat picture up there for you! But you clearly already have it yourself..great minds think alike.

    AND, I posted a link to your blog on my own tonight in hopes of helping you get to your 100 follower goal. I know that if I was that close I’d want some other bloggers to rally up the troops and come help me out, so that’s what I’m attempting. No guarantees as my following is much smaller than yours, but still…

    • It’s not at all creepy! I love it! I stalk Tard the Grumpy Cat like no one’s business. She even has her own website called The Daily Grump. DEFINITELY worth checking out!

      Thank you for posting about my blog on your blog – you’re too sweet. Expect to see yourself on my “Blogs I Love” page later today!… for what that’s worth, haha!

  3. what is your small business? i dislike the fact that i will have no say whatsoever in the telling of this oliva’s story, perhaps i could do wardrobe.
    ps. will you ever listen to me????

    • Oh, Bev. I DO listen to you. I’m just being really lazy right now until Christmas. But after the holidays, I plan to fully throw myself into Bev’s Formula for Blog-World Domination! Promise! 🙂

      And you could absolutely do wardrobe for Fat Olivia’s story. Or maybe, the person who is the 100th will have a really bad idea, in which case, I’ll have to poll the readers for how they want to hear her story. So, fingers crossed for that!

      As far as the business, I’m starting an online kind of writing “boutique” for eulogies, obituaries, wedding announcements, etc. Pretty much anything that people don’t like writing, I’ll do. Morbid as it is, I actually really enjoy writing eulogies – you get to be more demonstrative and emotive than in a lot of writing. So, there’s that, haha. It probably won’t go anywhere, but I’m looking for ways to bring in a little extra income to help with ridiculous student loan payments. 🙁

  4. On my business FB page, I invited everyone to get someone to follow. If they did, I vowed to write for them a Haiku — the topic of their choosing. It helped. I wrote Haikus about rutabagas, farts, the ocean, childhood, and so on. It was fun, actually, and people seemed to like their little poems. Maybe I’ll try it on my blog. I’m curious to see what you wind up writing about via your 100th follower.

  5. If I could follow you twice, girl, I would! You rock the blogosphere! (And I know what you mean when you say to people “Follow me,” and they say, “Well, I just read you on facebook.” Sigh… 🙂

  6. Love your business idea! Good luck with that. And with the 100 followers. I’m so impressed with you. I have 18 and am psyched! Guess I need to ask my friends to actually follow me to boost me up to 20.

    PS – Steve Perry and Tard is classic. One day I’ll show you my collection of Journey drawings from middle school.

    • Thanks! And thanks! 🙂 I’ll pimp you out on Facebook and I’ll let you keep all your earnings. Because I’m a nice pimp like that.

      Can I please, please, please see your Journey drawings? I smell a blog post for you….

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