I’ve got the knee surgery, pop.

I’m having my knee scoped tomorrow. I imagine the whole experience will be something like this:

But in all seriousness, it’ll probably be something like this:

Only instead of coughing, insert ridiculously over-dramatic whining and moaning and instead of “black lung,” insert “they took my knee off, pop!” Add in a beagle having sympathy pains and you’ll have the scene nailed.

This will be the second orthopedic malady in as many weeks for which Carter has been called to serve as nurse. First, his brother, with a snapped tibia and fibia. And now me, with this knee scope. Let’s be honest, his brother’s injury is sooooo much less bad.

Kidding, kidding.

Carter, the docile little house elf he is, has begun to refer to himself as Dobby Unchained.

If you’re a Harry Potter fan and get that reference, I love you. Truly, madly, deeply do.

If you’re not, well, leave now and never come back. We don’t want your kind around here.

Please don’t go. I take it back. I take it all back. Can’t we all just get along?

In all seriousness, Carter is a wonderful nurse and makes me tea and yells at me when I don’t want to ice. So then I yell at him that he’s mean and horrible. Like this:

Because I am infinitely mature. Me tomorrow = Mary Katherine Gallagher… with painkillers.

On the plus side, impending surgical procedures bring forth these precious gems from Carter and I, which I then save to a file and post here, for your viewing pleasure:

me:  Lots of homework for Monday, but that’s not a bad thing. 

Carter:  Well i think you’ll have time, being handi-capable and all 

Sent at 10:51 AM on Thursday 

me:  Hey, hey, hey. we prefer hobbled. Because it sounds like Hoblet. which is a baby Hobbit 

Carter:  haha hoblet 

Sent at 10:53 AM on Thursday 

me:  When we are old and have grandbabies, I want them to call us Gaffer and Gammer. Which are the names of Hobbit grandparents or old hobbits in general. Because we are AWESOME. 

Carter:  we are awesome. you shall get no argument from me. 

me:  Do you like that? Can I mandate that our 29 grandchildren call us that? 

Carter:  you can. and 29 is a lot 

me:  I’m guestimating. It’s probably too much. Let’s see – if I cave to your demands and we have 3 and they each have 3, that will give us 9. Like the 9 rings of power! holy shit!!!! 

Carter:  omg. see? it needs to happen 

Sent at 10:58 AM on Thursday 

me:  Ok, fine. I give. Little Samwise, Eomer, and Arwen will be such good babies. 

Carter:  haha 

me:  Be glad I didn’t go with Galadriel. But I think Tom Bombadil ha a very nice ring to it 

Carter:  oh you 

me:  We shall avenge you, Boromir!!!!!! 

He didn’t reply, but I just know he was *facepalm*ing all over the place.

Just like all of you, right now, are *facepalm*ing all over your own, respective, places.

But isn’t this why you keep coming back? It sure ain’t for my charm. Maybe it’s the food.

Wish me luck tomorrow, y’all! Carter says I’m not allowed to blog until the anesthesia has worn off. Then again, I’m very, very sneaky. So stay tuned. Either way, I’ll probably be drugged and posting gross pictures of my incisions on instagram. You know. Like you do. (Follow me at THENESTEDBLOG)

See y’all on the other side! (Of knee surgery that is.)

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Comments:

  1. So, I’m hoping you film your doctor sticking in that second knife and wiggling it around a little because that is comedy gold. Also I love that Mary Catherine Gallagher clip. It’s never enough to scream once or twice or just slam the door once or twice. I love exaggeration. I think that’s one of the reasons I love you!

    Good luck, Miss Kate. I’m sure it will go well and you will go on to bear those lovely nerd-children. But if you do name one Tom Bombadil, I’m sending Rick over to sing every one of his weird songs as lullabies. Every night.

    • I wasn’t able to get that shot, unfortunately. I’m blaming it on being unconscious. Isn’t that always the way? Also, can you please tell me more about these weird lullaby/songs? Please?

  2. Dobby Unchained. Bahahahahahahaha Love it!

    Good luck with the scope thingie. That just sounds unpleasant. Hopefully they give you good drugs!

  3. Nothing quite like movie clips to illustrate a point! good luck with knee surgery Gammer!

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